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Im such a mess i hate myself (advice very much needed although im not sure anything can be done)
9 months ago · 2 · Family Issues, +5
312
It's her wedding anniversary today and all she's been doing is her regular tiring routine; cleaning, cooking and making sure everythings going okay. Honestly I feel so bad for her, it felt like it was just an anniversary for my dad today because all he's done is just do some of his work and then he just sat eating, no remorse whatsoever for ma, no thought of helping her out, but then again I feel sorry for him too because he's constantly going on to me if his website is taking off, or if its going under. (BTW from memory, every past anniversary has been celebrated w a cake and a meal out, flowers, gifts but not this time like wtf) And my ma has done stuff to me in the past too, (major one was when she told me it was my fault when I told her one of my brothers raped me when I was younger LIKE WHAT THR ACFUAL HELL IS WRONG W SOME PEOPLE) and she screams at me randomly, and then she'll be like "it's a never ending loop for me" when she's cleaning up my awful brothers (who clearly DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES) messes and I honestly feel so bad but then again its like a guilt trip, and that's one example of what she says. "My daughter never helps me", and before you say, if u feel so sorry why don't you help her? I GENUINELY AM TIRED TOO I CANNOT WITH IT ANYMORE. School comes in the way, my tiredness comes in the way and when she guilt trips me, compares me to others, and yells I just give up. I do often do some of her stuff for her (make her food, clean up dishes n stuff) but I'm genuinely so tired mentally + physically because I keep falling asleep after school and I cant eat any vitamins to keep me awake til I finish my current medication and its been FOREVER. Gonna take me like a decade to get thru that stupid medicine. Then you've got my academically smart brothers but NO GENERAL KNOWLEDGE AT ALL LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH U HOW DO U NOT KNOW HOW TO CLEAN UP AFYER URSELF?? Makes me wanna actually smack some sense into them because who do they think they are having stereotypical views on ONLY woman being the ones to cook and clean? God forbid anyone siblings like that. I was literally having a mental breakdown randomly after school 2 days ago and now I've started crying again and I'm just a slobby mess with no hw done, no idea when stuff is due because my teachers aren't being clear on the dates, and no confidence, no motivation to present any of my presentations.
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Hi, I understand you. Honestly, I also feel it's unfair. I have a brother too, and he rarely or almost never does housework. He is just like me, we like to play games. So if we go on holiday at home, he is free to play games and is rarely asked by my mother, even for trivial things like washing dishes and cleaning. Meanwhile, if I started touching my cellphone and playing games, my father would immediately scold me (even though my brother and I were only one year apart, and I was 16 years old at that time). He would say something like this, "don't you see your mother cooking in the kitchen? Go help your mother there." Meanwhile, my father just sits in front of his laptop almost all day and never helps with the kitchen. In fact, my mother also works as a teacher like my father, and I myself am also busy with my education. It feels unfair that we women have to do all the housework ourselves, when we also work just like men.
One day, my little sister was angry because my little brother was always free to go do whatever he liked after he finished eating, while she and I had to wash the dishes. My younger sister didn't accept it, but my younger brother felt it wasn't his job so he refused to help. My younger sister then complained to our grandmother and she was the one who was scolded. And my grandmother said, that's women's work, and we as women are obliged to do it. And since then, I really hate being a woman. -_-
ReplySociety and its stupid standards anyway, hope ur doing well <3
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