My Unsent Letter

Dear Big head ,

How are you? it's been nearly three years since we dated - do you have someone else? are you happy with her.

Iam leaving the company I joined when we were together - it's been 5 years with this company and I'm leaving. I want to tell you so badly, but I feel like I'm a bother, someone who needs to stay away from you. I miss you - it hurts so much.

I adopted a kid and I'm with a woman. I should be happy? no? then why am I not. We planned for a family, but everything happened.

You moved overseas and I wonder what will happen when I see you again cause the last time that happen - time stopped. It cannot stop again this time - I have a partner and a child.

You have been on my mind since we last spoke - and finding out you were talking to someone else even as a friend and I know I have no right to get mad or jealous, but I ended it again - talking to you. I blocked it again - everything.

I deserve to be happy too but why! did it have to be you.

I would give up my heart for you and if in a room full of people and even with my current partner - I would still choose you. selfish? Yes - I hate myself. I tried leaving her and working on me because she deserved better, and it failed. we got back together cause of the baby we adopted and I'm trying to be happy with her, but you are always at the back of my mind.

you have been blocked on every social website I know because I want to be happy with her. Please leave me alone - why can't I stop thinking of you. You lied to me and cheated. So why can't you leave my mind. I'm so hurt, and you don't even know. No one does but me. I must keep smiling and acting fine when really - I want to run away with you.

moce mada,

your big nose,