What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Will all this pain even be worth it in the end? I'm so done with everything honestly. School, my appearance, "oh but she's way prettier" mindset, people I'm surrounded with, being alone, and just my life in general. Idk what's wrong with me, I just hate myself. My skin is so complicated, nothing works. Makeup isn't makeuping. And then I just look over to the girls I envy. There's one girl, she's so pretty its actually unbelievable. This girl had honey brown hair that's glossy but not oily, I have black. She has fair clear skin, I have uneven, complicated skin. She has many friends, and she's likeable. I don't. I just feel so ugly I wanna cry my eyes out and honestly I think looking back in a few years ill just feel sorry for myself, but grateful I got thru this. I'm alone, always trapping myself in the bathroom because where else am I supposed to go? Everywhere else is just awkward and people I know are there. I hate others knowing I practically have no friends, while they all hang out with supportive friendgroups. Havent been able to make a longlasting friend since my exbsf left me 4 years ago, because she betrayed me for sm girl WE BOTH DIDNT USE TO GET ALONG WITH, LIKE WHAT??. And now your telling me, JUST BECAUSE, our families are close, I have had to put up going to school with them for the past 3 years? And trust me, I've been thru hell seeing her be with other friends, but its like normal now. Anyway, her friend started coming with us home. (Me n ex-bsf families r close so we carshare so its convenient for both of us) Keep in mind, my ex-bsf's mum, I call her aunt out of respect. So my aunt picks us up AND HER CAR IS SMALLL and like I just HATE sitting in that car. Because 1)I dont wanna have to be right next to ex-bsf, like pls no I can see all ur pores GET AWAY. 2) Usually in the car ex-bsf and her sister dont even bother making convo w me and they talk in like a language we all speak, OHH BUT NO!! When ex-bsf's friend is here, let's act all white-washed, 'funny' and put on accents 🥰 LIKE WHAT THE HELL ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ and its just PUTTING ME OFF SMM, like I've told my ma to just get her to pick me up, but no I'm being told "Just until Friday" I CANT TAKE IT NO MOREE!! I'm only not pestering her about it because I genuinely don't wanna be a bothersome person, and bc she's always stressed for another reason. Oh also, wth am I to do, because it feels like once I stop seeing ex-bsf so much because we go to school 2gther and come back 2gther, I feel like ill ALWAYS see her at school? I'm scared that's gonna happen, but honestly who cares. Its gonna be so annoying tho, I'm Muslim, so Eid is coming up right?? And guess who I gotta spend Eid with? Ex-bsf and her family 🥰 UGHHH, told my ma we should just go out as a family and she's just like "where are we going to go?" "You know aunty's like family to us, we always go over" and atp im so done with this, every year for the past 4 yrs they've still came over for Eid and its just been awkwarder each year. (DO NOTT GET ME STARTED W THEIR COUSIN, IF SHE COMES OVER EX-BSF N HER SIS R COMPLETELY DIFF PPL) And ugh, my Eid's all ruined and I KNOW IT ALREADY. There won't even be a point in dolling myself up just to go to someone I hate's house. And if I don't go ill be seen as rude, and my ma will prob just scream and yell at me. LIKE JUST LET ME LIVE AND UNDERSTAND WHERE IM COMING FROM MA?? PLEASE?? just waiting for the day when I'm older and financially stable, I'm moving the hell away from here and going to an Islamic country. Dont wanna remember anyone here, cutting ties FULLY with ex-bsf's family, and just taking my family with me.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
why's ramadan draining the life out of me??
maybe its js me or this app takes FOREVER to load, like I'm js tryna type out my thoughts while sobbing, why the hell do I have to wait so long? anyway, I just...
-
WWYD (what would u do) HELP UR GIRL OUT!!
Part of me doesn't mind, part of me is just STRESSED. If you told younger me that my sister-like-bsf would betray me and torture me in the future and then curre...