What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
My husband puts his brother over me. He discusses purchases for our home with him before telling me if he even tells me. He stays glued to his phone 24/7. He doesn't do anything with us as a family unless it is a birthday or alcohol is involved. He would rather spend time with the guys after work until in the morning hours instead of doing something with me. He would have sex with me when he was drunk. He made the statement that he can only do it when he is drunk. That crushed me and he doesn't understand why no matter how much I explain that to him.
I am home 24/7. I at one point when he came driving home drunk (irritates the hell out of me) would make sure he had water and tylenol for his morning hangover until I realized that he just got back from the strip club and it was 5 am. I was livid. He slept on the couch from that point. He didnt' try to come back to the bed. He slept there for 2 years. We didnt have sex, everything intimate was gone. His choice. I sprialed into a depression and put on 60lbs. I ended up getting sick with my blood disorder after a procedure and was in icu. I saw a band and they got me going. I started to love myself a little and started losing weight, and he kept ignoring me and my wants and doing his own thing and during fights saying the most cut throat things to me he could. So I started to go places by myself. I offered for him to go but he didn't want to thinking I wouldn't go, but I did. So that meant he had to stay home with the kids. He didn't like it. Argument, guess what? He throws that in my face now. I smile and say so what? He then follows up with you could have paid bills with that instead. Really? You could have paid bills, taken your family out instead of paying a stripper but here we are. He says I am in the wrong and just want it to be my way.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
I think my boyfriend is cheating
we're both busy but every time we text he immediately leaves and I asked why he leaves so far and he said he's addicted to his game, which he really is. But tim...
-
Was I too late?
Me and my friend have known each other for about 6 months now. We used to just be friends but got closer when we realised how well we got along. We had many sim...
Have you ever written a letter to him? Sometimes letters get to people's hearts better than words.
ReplyYes, I have. I have tried to even have a calm, serious talk. He always responds with his feelings, but never addresses to what I was saying or wrote. He may pick out a sentence or a word and go with it.
ReplyI have another idea. Somehow, in some way, figuring out the root of all the issues he has. And then working with him through them. If he's turning to alcohol, his phone, strip clubs, there is some kind of bigger issue here. Is he afraid of something? Does he not want to face something? Is he insecure? I don't know what it might be.
Also, the approach to take with this is one of love, gentleness, and care. In some way or another, he has gotten himself down a deep hole of "self." He is stuck in this "self" stuff and it's extremely difficult to get out of by oneself.
Taking him by the hand (figuratively, possibly literally) and leading him out is the way to go. You have your rational mind, and his isn't working correctly at the moment. He needs your love and help to get out of this, even if he doesn't admit it or realize it.
Maybe start the conversation with one simple question, and say it slow to sink in- In the deepest part of you (name), is your heart and soul happy? And give him time to respond in whatever way he does. Ask it at a time where he has some space to think. I hope this conversation is a fruitful one. Let me know how it goes!
ReplyWell, I tried to have a calm, llight conversation, and I don't know where it went wrong, but he didn't want to talk about anything regarding him. When anything got started on the subject of what was going on with him now, he just wanted to tell me all I do wrong in his eyes and the sad thing is, A LOT of it was way off. He is talking about stuff when we first dated over 10 years ago. Stuff from left field that has nothing to do with the present.
ReplyThe things that he did say that bothered him that I do now, which was a little weird, but I just said, ok I will work on that.
ReplyIt is extremely difficult to admit wrongs, mistakes, and to open up about feelings and struggles, for men especially. And it's even more difficult if it's something he doesn't want to face from within himself. Did he give a reason why he didn't want to talk about himself? Also, curious how you started the conversation.
ReplyNo, he didn't give a reason. I just calmly started a conversation and told him that I loved him and I know that we have drifted apart. He smirked and it went downhill from there.
ReplyI'm not sure what's going on. Something is up but what is it?? Can't figure it out. There's something he's not talking about but needs to.
ReplyAlso, wondering if you'd like to email. Completely up to you :)
ReplyIf you want your marriage to last it would be a good idea for you both to see a marriage counselor.
ReplyI have offered for us to see one and he always says yes but always backs out. I have even said lets get a divorce and he always laughs and says well go pay for it.
Reply