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why is being me so hard. why do have this anxiety that won’t ever shut the fuck up. why do i have to grieve the childhood i never got. why do i feel things so much. why do i care so much about something that won’t happen for years and years to come. why do i have to carry so much baggage. why why why
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I hear you. I had a childhood but the most memorable things were always bad things. My joy would be ruined by my dad all the time. I even made myself a cool little hideout under my bed. For me, I've had to stop thinking about the past and focus things I want in the future that are obtainable. And if you're like me relationships are never easy but I feel like everything comes together when it's meant to in due time. Don't give up and don't be hard on yourself. Just do you and do whatever brings you happiness when you feel like you need it. You got this.
Replyyou are not the only one. I currently am still blaming everything that is going wrong in my life on my traumatic childhood and Im struggling myself to hold it together as well. I struggle with really bad anxiety as well and I feel like I can never turn it off but I've created a happy place in my head. Sometimes when my anxiety hits all I can do is feel it out then go to my happy. We can't control everything around us but we can control some of our feelings. I could sit my room in the dark or in my bathroom on the floor in the dark and just think about my happy place. Mine is a room of my favorite color, everything from the ceiling to the floor is blue and it has all my favorite snacks all over, its on a super high floor in a build over looking a city at night when the world itself is just quiet.
This may not fix everything but it does help in the moment when you feel out of control and feel like you just need something different. Keep your head up, you're not alone. You're doing great and over time everything will work out one day.
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