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She was trying to come outside.....
I know she was inside me and I also know that I am her and she is me. And we will never be apart.
But i still want to forget her. I dont want to show her to anybody else. Its not like I am afraid of people judging me and not loving both of us.....
I can't and won't expect that.
I want to bury or erase her.....
She pains me. Seeing her wounds and scars that never healed in 20 years pains me.
I can't and sometimes don't want to take care of her......I am teird, with these emotions, these scars.....
I am hear her suffocating, can hear her crying.......But if I won't stop her she will finish me.....I am afraid that she will overcome me.....So, I buried her......as I always did in these 20 years everytime....
I did it.....I buried her today again....
I don't want anybody to love her or me, I am selfish as I will always use you to heal me.....And i can't let anybody sacrifice for me.......Everybody deserved to be loved, And i don't want you to be my weakness........
I know its hard sometimes, but i will survive......I will.
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