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I was a good daughter, with solid morals and principles, but life events changed me. In university, I entered a short-lived relationship with someone who deceived me by claiming to be single. Turns out, he was involved with two people simultaneously. I dumped him. He turned out to be a narcissistic and psychotic abuser. A year later, my Dad suddenly passed away. Another trauma. After graduating, I focused on healing. However, it turned out that the person I was talking to was a playboy. He shattered my heart with false hope. Another heartbreak. My work life became tough due to toxicity and the pandemic, leaving me stuck in my job. The pandemic drove me crazy, fearing I'd die a virgin at 29. I engaged in FWB, but it's not like me. It was sort of good distraction during my depression. Eventually, I realized it's best to end it since meaningless things are unsatisfying. I met someone at work post-pandemic who made me believe they were interested in a relationship with me. He wanted to try FWB, which hurt because I thought he liked me and enjoyed our connection. I agreed to cuddle as long as he's single, but it eventually turned into sex. I wanted to stop. We agreed to meet up one last time, but he accidentally got me pregnant. We discovered in 2 weeks, as did the pill abortion. Only then did I learn he was in a relationship. But I already have feelings for him. We stopped. He returned, wanting to hang out as friends, but when I asked why he said he was single. He said it's complicated. Things happen when we hang out. I said we should break up because I feel guilty. It's not who I am. I didn't want to hurt her, but we had sex. How did I become a cheater? How did I lose myself? Was I too lonely to stick to my morals? Why do I keep giving him chances?
Is it too late to be my old self? I feel ashamed and low of myself when I think about my actions..
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Hey, Don't feel guilty but instead you can use that as motivation to be your old self again, in life we make Mistakes and those mistakes are considered as life lessons,so what you did was a mistake and it was not your fault because he manipulated you into doing that. The good thing is that you were never the problem because they were dishonest and you just wanted something solid for a lifetime and please consider them as losers because they lost someone who is loving,loyal,kind and for sure you are very beautiful. It will never be your loss until you say it is your loss. So do not feel ashamed and don't feel low about yourself because it only builds them up and lowers you down. Focus on improving more on yourself so that they can see that they lost a rare diamond.
ReplyYou attract men who are already with someone. In the last few years the men who have tried to be with me have all been married so I do the same thing.
ReplyFirst and foremost, that man was the one in a relationship and betrayed that trust. He is the cheater here. That being said, staying with him seems to be holding you back. I know it's hard, God I do know it, but the best thing to do is focus on you. What do you want? Who do you want to be? Who do you want to love? Imagine it. You can always reject and change with your growth and circumstances. You are worth investing in. ❤️ Don't go back to who you were. Create who you want to be!
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