I get anxious when I look at someone’s hand

Looking at someone’s hand makes anxious and even scared, it reminds me of my parents’ hands.

Growing up in an abusive household was not fun, such as physical abuse. My parents would beat me up, take my belongings away, lock me up, and even at points would get my life near death. And all these times, they did all these with their hands. My father’s hands did a lot of things by force; grab me, through me, beat me, as well as holding a lot of harmful things such as hammer, broken glass, syringe etc. As for my mother; she had long nails that she would tear my skin with it. She also threw a lot of things at me. One time, she ripped the inside of my mouth for “talking back”. My mouth bled everywhere and my lips were bruised for two weeks. What my parents did with their own hands was obviously horrible. Funny enough, my parents are now my sleep paralysis demon. But back to my point, every time I look at someone’s hand it reminds me of my parents’ hands. I feel scared as though I would be hurt by them. And every single time I have to remind myself that everyone has hands, everyone has knuckles, fingers, nails. It may sound hilarious but that’s how I calm myself down. I have to remind myself that not everyone is here to hurt me.