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I have been feeling like this really recently. I feel like I dont have a sense of direction and I feel like I am going insane. it feels like there is no saving me. I have been trying to do things that would bring me happiness and things that would keep me interested but I have lost that too. I feel no excitement and i have no hope at all. I feel like i am the worst and i feel like I am becoming a disappointment to everyone. the efforts that my parents and my sister have put in my future feel like they are going to waste. I cant go to sleep without the thoughts of killing myself. I wasnt like this too long ago but something shifted in my head, my mind and now I cant get myself out of it. I feel lost and out of place. I shouldnt be here. I have noting to contribute. What the fuck am i meant to do here? to be everyones punching bag. To only listen and reassure those around me. I have no problem being there for my friends but I feel like the main reason why they still talk to me is because I wont judge them and that I will always be here because I have no one else. Not even my best friend cares about me. He doesnt text me, call me, or even check up on me. If i wasnt the one texting him he wont talk to me. I dont care that he has a girlfriend thats not my problem, it is that he is willing to throw everything away for her. He cant even talk to me without it being about his girlfriend or about their fights. I love him to death but I just feel like i am only here to please others. No one actually cares about what I am going thru. I can be talking about myself and they would interrupt to tell me about what their friends did. cant they just listen to me once in a while please. I just ask to be heard and to be appreciated. Is it too much to ask? clearly it is and i dont have it in me to carry on. I think whatever comes next might be my actual final straw and I will disappear.
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How do I deal with being left out? And how do I stop making my whole life about other peoples validation...
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sorry if this comes off as bratty
mom has cancer and every;thing has changed and im honestly struggling so bad on idk what which is so embarrassing to say because im not the one who has it worst...
I think a lot of people feel exactly how you are feeling. I know I have done on and off throughout my life so far (I'm in my late 20's now). You will have friends who come and go in different circles...school, college, work, from hobbies and interests. Some will only be interested in themselves but even if you find 1 person who is genuine they are worth 100x more than a fake friend. Hang in there, things do get better and there is an entire world out there. Maybe try something new you've always wanted to try or take up a new hobbie as you might make some new friends along the way and find something you enjoy. The fact you are there for your friends when you are struggling yourself already says a lot about the type of person you are and that you are good hearted. The world needs more people like you. One person CAN make a difference. You are enough x
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