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I don't even know how to write the words I want to say. You're gone. You're not, but you are. You have made such an impact on my life, that not having you around has caused me so much heartache. I'm in pain knowing that you're not around. How do I move on? How do I make myself not feel this way. I'm in pain, but I feel nothing. I want to be happy but.. I'm not truly happy unless you're around. I have no one to turn to about this. No one... no one would understand. I wouldn't even know how to describe what I'm feeling. I cry, but l feel nothing. I can't even comprehend what I would say to you if you were really here. I just wish It didn't hurt like this. I could easily cut you out of my life, never to talk to or see you again. It would hurt, but for my sanity I could move on. Only feel loneliness and not feel my heart shattering... but you. I know the pain that it would cause you. So... I have to choose... Me in pain or you. It's not even a choice, I would never want that for you nor do you deserve it.
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Yeah, that's what it's like when my person would go away for weeks at a time. It was awful when she wold come back and not address that at all. Then, I started to accept it and then I got dropped. Why can't she just explain more? I get so, so little. Like this post could have been from her for all I know. Who knows?
ReplyNot me. I don't use ellipses.
Replywell, then what are you still doing here? I'm here because I haven't gotten a direct, slap in the face, "yes, my feelings have changed and I gotta go." That's what you are doing right? If that's it, you can go now. This protecting me caused the loss of years from my life. Just do it already.
Replyso was this reply a joke or what? This is making me crazy. I gotta work. and this is crazy. I'm being crazy. See, you should stay away from crazy.
Reply