thoughts ive had

recently with ongoing thoughts ive just had in my mind it comes to my liking how sometimes I find myself in a rather strage yet normal situation? Now, I sometimes feel confused at the fact on how love is seen depending on the perspectice. How i've come to witness it is that you gain and you loose...Say for example for example it goes wrong you now gain these feelings of sadness this wave of 0 motivation for something perhaps u messed up in or the person wronged you in. I used to think that perhaps I was the problem..that I had messed up, that I did things wrong. Why should blame myself tho? if you're the one looking out to speak/ be with me its you who should be the right im js here, vibing, going with the flow. yet, peope decide to come in and mess up said flow which you have on going. Mostly in situations I find myself confused on how I should act, as I feel the loss of emotion when the other person is quite emotional at that regard. How I go about things is that I try not to let them take full hold of my emotion so that I can be smart about things and act up on them as should be. For the most part I. DO. NOT. CARE...... I simply stand there unphased, now this is for a certain time period, until further events which I feel slight sadness to hit me. A weird ongoing feeling in my chest in which I feel as if I should cry and let it out, but no, that feeling simply remains there building up as time simply goes on. Its like if the emotions I once had as a child just died between me realizing how people really were