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I am 22y, female and I have no friends besides my boyfriend. I've always been that girl with very little friends, in various times of my life I've had a few friends, good friends, but only a few. But even that one's good friends, never been that kind that I can count on everything. And I miss that. I'm on that period of my life where I should be enjoying life, partying etc, but I literally have no one. I have my boyfriend, he is literally my best friend and I can do anything with him, but there is somethings that I wish I could do with my girlfriends. I have some, old ones from school, and some from work, we talk, help each other, go out sometimes, but I feel like I'm more theirs friends than they are mine. And I've always felt this way. I've always been the one that cares most, always respond, always want to go out. And usually I never receive that back. Has been some time that I have felt this way, but lately I've been noticing that I am not a priority for any of the friends that are a priority for me. Has been at least 2 months that I've inviting them to go out, just to talk actually, not to go partying or anything expensive, but I always hear the same reasons, "oh I don't have money, I am busy etc". 2 months, you don't have $5 to go get an ice-cream and talk?
I've always been pretty comprehensive with that, I know that money is a problem nowadays, and that people have their own lives and family's, but I also see practically every day one of them going out, spending money etc.
So you don't have money to waste with me? That's it.
And I've always been pretty comprehensive with what they want to do too. Because I know it's not always that you feel OK to going out etc, and its OK, I have days like this too.
But idk
This week inclusive I asked 3 of the people I consider the most, and I got no for an answer, with those excuses, and now that it's the weekend, I've seen on social media that all of them has gone out, spending a lot of money, and when I asked them I said that we could go out any day they could, anywhere. Even on my place so we don't spend money, but the answer was those same excuses ive been hearing for a long time. The last time I did something with them was on January
All of them always have the same excuse, but I also see all of them enjoying with other people and other friends.
I been feeling lately that maybe I am like this, maybe I am the problem, maybe no one actually wants to go out with me, talk with me, and that is something I have to deal with. Maybe I am the problem, because it's been like this my whole life. I always had best friends but I never was anyone best friend, and that's OK
These days me and my boyfriend were discussing things about marriage and best male and maid of honor and stuff, and he asked who was going to be mine maid of honor, and I literally don't have anyone, if I get married tomorrow, and it's actually very sad to me.
I feel like no one really loves me, I am the one that loves the most, people only need me. And when they do I'm there, but no one is for me
I know I have my family, and my boyfriend, so I'm not alone, but I'm also in my twentys, I should have friends, and having them this way just makes me very sad
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ReplyWhy you think like that 🤨🤨🤨
ReplyWell maybe they have reasons for not spending time with you, but surely it's not you who is the problem. I won't say that it is them, but I do believe that when a person really cares for someone he/she/they will go out of their way just to try to make an effort for you. I have seen a post before where it said "Pay attention to those who spend their time with you during their free time, and those who make time just to spend it with you". It might sound a little bit unbelievable, but it is true and I have seen it with myself before. I used to think that maybe I was not just worth the time, but then over time I realize it wasn't me, and sure enough it really wasn't me. But, I can't blame them, but what I realize is that even though it hurts, maybe it is best to just let go or just try not to expect too much for sometimes the most people that can disappoint us are the ones we really thought would be there for us. They probably have their reasons though that you just don't know, but your feelings are valid. They are good friends I think, but I hope that you won't judge your worth because of how they treat you :)
ReplyDon't worry girl, I think you spoke out on a lot of the things many women are afraid to say out loud. Thank you for writing this, I really needed to hear it. Something so relatable but shouldn't be happening so frequently. I hope you can find a true friend. <3
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