I am the exception to the rule

I laugh as i write this so don't mind the mistakes. i asked 3 simple questions and this guy decided to dump his emotional baggage onto me. he said that i gave too many novel responses and that i should just keep things short, but then proceeds to send me several voicenotes that were more than 5 minutes long. i think it's unfortunate that many people believe that it's okay to share their traumas with you when you're just getting to know them as that can be considered trauma bonding. a lot of guys don't know how to read the room and match the energy that they're being given from women. i can only speak for heterosexual pairings because i am a heterosexual woman. this guy didn't even bother to ask me how to properly pronounce my name and then continued on with his life troubles and the struggles of his parents. he couldn't have a consistent conversation with me and would always ask for extra time and or to give him a chance to respond and then he would take 3-5 days to reply. yet the moment something drastic happened to him he started blowing up my phone and then blatantly admitted that he's the exception to the rule and demanded all of my time and attention. i told him that if he needed to take a timeout in order to recollect himself that it would be fine but he insisted on telling me information that i didn't ask for. i don't get why men have such a hard time admitting that they need help because there are work programs where counselling is anonymous and by all means youre paying into your benefits package plan.

this is the same guy that told me he needed more time to respond to my messages but then continuously talked about himself as if i was supposed to be impressed. when you're meeting someone and don't even take the time to ask them the right questions - how on earth are you expecting a connection to be formed? why would i continue engaging with someone who doesn't even respect me enough to properly pronounce my name, respond to my statements<<<questions that he asked me and why do so many feel so comfortable dumping their problems onto others when the other party hasn't done so...it's exhausting and draining. it's also very rude and arrogant.

when i told him that maybe he could seek out a counsellor, he then snapped on me and said that women aren't serious when it comes to dating<<<the contradictions with this guy were very entertaining and amusing because he lacked self awareness. when i asked him why he felt so comfortable sharing his life story with me but didn't take the time to actually listen to me - he quickly changed the topic. this also looks like manipulation and isn't the best way to form any kind of healthy relationship with someone. instead of asking me for tips and or taking the great advice that i had given to him, he got extremely emotional<<<anger is an emotion and got super defensive. he had never tried making me a priority but expected me to make him one in my life. when i told him that he shouldn't be fixated on one person in dating until him and that party have agreed to be mutually exclusive he scoffed and repeated: "i am the exception to the rule" so i froze him out because i realized that this guy was full of himself and he exuded too much arrogance. he wasn't good with communication and wasn't staying consistent but wanted me to be consistent with him

i still gave him some helpful tips and then he deleted his profile. it was a great learning experience and im glad that i saw through his bullshit. in life, i wish more people would understand that you're only guaranteed a bowel movement and death in this life. you define your own happiness and you can't treat people like shit and then wonder why they aren't considering you as a worthy and or healthy option to date. this whole women are supposed to be subservient to men is really awful and just because you may be attracted to a woman that doesn't make her automatically attracted to you either...this sense of entitlement is really bad

stop worrying about the options a woman may have and focus on yourself. if the connection is there then everything will flow. this was the same guy that said to me: "why aren't you asking how I'm doing?" but not once had he ever asked how i was doing at all. i know that there are a collective of men who don't exhibit these qualities but i am noticing a pattern in a lot of men where they say that they're spiritual and or religious but they seem to be the most unhinged ones with a severe case of arrogance.

ive never been one to say that i don't need a man, but im not desperate for one either. i came into this world alone and i will leave on my own and i've accepted that...it's apart of life because we're all guaranteed death. just because you think a certain way doesn't mean that a woman has to think the same way too. if you're not going to see women as people don't get upset when you meet women who match and or exceed your level of arrogance and or that ugly energy that you give back to us. you don't need EVERY woman to desire and want you, you just need the woman that fits your criterion and that doesn't mean forcing her to lower her standards and or belittling her either. stop thinking that you're entitled to every woman because these same guys get upset when a woman has options lol make it make sense. focus on yourself and the person that you have a connection with

even when you give them sound advice they become angry and super unhinged. stop attaching your worth and validation to women and or seeking it externally. you need to learn how to validate yourself first. if you treat people like their options, don't get upset when they treat you the same and or ignore you. if you're interested in something real then say that...this includes if you'd like monogamy.

stop pretending to be so damn tough "I don't need women and women are only good for one thing"<<<okay so why are you offended when a woman says that she's single? why are you upset when she treats you like an option or like you don't exist? stop purposefully fucking up and then trying to steal her away from the man who's treating her right and or when she's taken her vow to remain single.

don't say that women are good for one thing but then you're expecting her to listen to all of your emotional issues and just your day to day issues<<<are you doing the same for her? better yet, cut to the chase and ask her what she needs and then you as a man should know yourself well enough to decide on whether you can deliver those things but so many of you are too cowardice to admit that you don't want to hear upfront that you can't deliver what she's asking for...

a woman doesn't have to choose you simply because you exist. she can choose whichever man fits her desires and her criterion.

get rid of your arrogance, drop your sense of entitlement and learn the art of a conversation<<that doesn't mean complaining about the girl who broke your heart in the 3rd grade, that doesn't mean generalizing all women in a category of whores, that doesn't mean talking about your parents' struggles and that doesn't mean being a negative nelly in order to gain sympathy and or empathy

if more of you would exercise the resources that are available to you, you wouldn't be walking around so angry and being terrible options

counselling is something that you do for yourself and to cleanse your soul...why the fuck do your boys have to know that you're doing that?<<<why are you sharing this with them?? again stop with the external validation and learn to validate yourselves. you aren't dating your friends, you're dating the woman.

i've given a lot of helpful advice to men in the last few months and many of them have tried catching my attention again WITHOUT DOING ANY OF THE WORK!! What is wrong with you?? what are you waiting for? all you're telling me is that you're NOT WORTH INVESTING IN BECAUSE YOU WON'T INVEST IN YOURSELVES! I can't help you when you're coming back with the same bullshit plus more and then wondering why you're still being overlooked

STOP running after women who aren't interested in you and focus on the woman who is interested in you. love yourself enough to get help, love yourself enough to go to the dentist, love yourself enough to go to the doctors, love yourself enough to eat fruits and vegetables, love yourself enough to exercise, love yourself enough to want to be a better man than yesterday. love yourself enough to understand that rejection can be one of two things: redirection or protection. rejection is just like death it's apart of life and is inevitable, change your perspective on how you view things because wow some of you are just so fucking negative it's draining being around you. stop thinking that your d*ick is enough and going to satisfy her...if that's the case, go and pay for sex and or get a doll or use your hands.

i don't know what some of you are being taught but my gosh some of you are worse than squidward and it doesn't matter how much money you make and or how handsome you are...some of you aren't valuing yourselves enough to do YOUR OWN WORK