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I feel like I do not have a purpose or a will to live anymore. I do not have exactly one set reason, but I do have many open-ended questions that have been troubling me. Ever since I was younger I have always struggled with friendships. Every year or month they would drop me because I was too weird or wasn’t good enough. I had to go through bullying in elementary school and currently I am trying my best to hold myself together. I did my best to learn from my mistakes and change myself so people would like me but now I feel very lonely. To add on to this I havent been able to sleep. I get barely any sleep at night and consider myself lucky if I manage to squeeze in 6 hours of it. I am constantly rethinking every tiny mistake I have ever made and cursing at myself that I have nothing I can say I have accomplished in life. I have been questioning what is making me feel like this, when can I find someone that will actually care, or how do I get past these obstacles. It is hard and I know that other people struggle with worse things which makes me feel like I am weak and not important, especially since people have told me those exact things before. But I really want to know what to do right now and solve all of these questions I have been stressing about for ages. I want to know how I can keep myself from doing something horrible to myself before I regret it.
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ReplyYou are an inward thinker and thinking about every little mistake you have ever made won't do you any good. You aren't weak and unimportant at all. You are strong and worthwhile so be these things. Maybe you aren't getting enough sleep because you have things running through your head when you go to bed instead of settling down to sleep. You need to calm yourself and stop all of this negative thinking. Tell yourself to calm down and relax and to take things one at a time and not at a fast pace. Stop questioning yourself and take at a slower pace and go with the flow. Stop questioning yourself about things and when you calm yourself and stay calm the stress will go away. Develop a positive way of seeing yourself and be aware of having thoughts running through your mind when you are meant to be going to sleep and put a stop to them by relaxing your whole body when you lie down. Have relaxing thoughts like slowly floating on a cloud over green fields, pastures, and valleys, or slowly floating along a river on a raft and feeling how relaxed and free that is. It could take a few weeks of getting into this habit but it will be worth it.
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