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I'm 18, about to turn 19. I'm still a child and have lots of years ahead of me and years to learn and become a man. I'm lost. I really am. I don't have the best education getting D'e and E's on my report card (Besides sport where i got A+). I have huge trust issues, I can't trust anyone even my own mother. I sit here and wish I was dead so I can join my brother, but every time I try to end my life there is always that voice in my head telling me to stop. I'm that type of person that like's to have a someone to be with me to give me a reason to achieve my goals, I can make a plan for myself but i need someone to be there for me so I can make them proud . I know it is stupid and I shouldn't have someone to make me to start working towards my goals. But I do. Since I was in Grade 6 i always wanted to be in the military. Not only to serve for my country but to get the enjoyment of having the power to go around the world and preventing bad things happening. I have had over 20+ girlfriends (if you like to call them that) all lasting a month at least a month besides my recent ex who I was with for three months. I know I can reach my goals and own my dreams and become someone that people are proud to know. But right now I have no bloody idea how to deal with the way I think and a way to live without someone been there for me.
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First of all before looking for someone who will be proud of you, you should be proud of yourself first. Even on your smallest achievements in life ♥ No offense but I think you are becoming a dependent person. Remember that not all the time you need other ppl to be happy, once in a while take time to be alone and let yourself enjoy. Be better and do good even when no one sees you. Lastly, don't ever think of ending your life. Remember that there's so much more in your life, you just need to discover it! Let go of negative thoughts and let the positive thoughts in! ^^ oh and if you ever feel sad or stressed, I might sound childish but a vanilla ice cream will do! Hahaha :> -Y
ReplyI will start by saying, it's okay to want people that you feel close to around. Maybe don't look for companionship so much in a girlfriend, and look for companionship with someone who is just a friend. Some of the most meaningful relationships are the ones shared between friends. Try just looking for friends, and you'll be surprised at how quickly you wont feel alone. With that said in order to find a friend you need to be open to people, do something new this weekend, go to a school event you usually wouldn't. Snap chat someone you haven't in a while, be brave and put yourself out there.I also feel like you are worried that you are unsuccessful. So this is what I do when I get that way. I start with what I need to complete that day, for example I need to write a short story for my creative writing class, clean my kitchen, and shower. Those are the three things I need to have done today, to make it a success. Now I write a list on how to achieve those things. And I get it really specific. As I cross things off of the list I realize how many things I do correctly in a day, and I feel more successful because I am putting attention on all of the things that I have completed.Example of my list:
Write Story-
-Go to work
-Drive Home from Work
-Get home
-Hang up Keys
-Make a snack: apple & peanut butter?
-Watch one episode of the office to relax
-Get Laptop and charger
-turn off TV
-Get comfortable on the couch
-Turn on music
-Open Word
-Make sure format is correct
-Start writing
-Two-three pages: a character that no one should like, but do anyway
-Watch one episode of the office to relax
-Read Story
-Edit
-Watch one episode of the office to relax
-Read and make final edits
-Submit
And then I can look at all the things I accomplished to get that one task done. It'll feel weird at first, but once you get used to it you'll start to see the good things that you are accomplishing on the daily. I started to feel more motivated and I am all about task lists now! Not to mention it's a great way to get organized.
ReplyYou can always rely on a friend who'd be close to you.Gfs are never as proud of you as your best friend is.
Find one who'd stay and motivate. :)
Reply