The Value of Life

This will be kind of an all-over-the-place rant. Lately, I’ve been criticized because a lot of my sentences start with “I.” I hate when people make the idea that I’m always being self absorbed when I value others more than my life sometimes. I’m always in this “you” mindset… trying to care about the concept or reality of “other.”

I wish people had more hope or faith in other people sometimes. Like, there’s a song that really pushed my boundaries one time; a song that pushed me to let it all out… you know how songs can do that sometimes. And I felt like, in my mind, the tone of the song was screaming “ride with me or die!” It was this weird sorta message it was sending me that “accept that you are not in control and that all you claim to be or know is just not true.” I know that sounds mad weird, but this song I felt like was the first time I lost my mind in the sense of pushing it to the very limit.

I experienced a lot of things, at least in my mind, and on the internet. It is common to me that I tend to forget about a lot of stuff I wrote or did here, until I read it again, or if I’m unlucky probably I never get to see it again. In a way, tells a lot about you as a person, and you following your own advice. Because if you forget it, then you probably never really meant it. If it meant something to you, what you said before, then you would at least carry the message in the back of your mind… in the form of a small snippet of text or something. But remember this, you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago… quoting a wise man called Alan Watts.

Sometimes it is surprising how we inflate our minds and think we got concepts like infinity figured out… when the more you experience life, the more you wouldn’t want anything to do with potential or possible dangers. Personally, the way I always rationalize the universe, consists of three main elements (four if you count the latter I’m gonna mention), which are “everything,” “nothing,” the “in between,” and lastly, what I would call the “the gap in human knowledge,” which is everything that we cannot rationalize by sheer power of thought or imagination… which would essentially be the synonym of experience.

I ain’t gonna lie, I haven’t experienced much in what we would call real life. I regret not making an account here, but I traced back to or saved my last 56 posts… which is enough something to go by. And I wanted to talk about my main themes. They range from themes about being kind, feeling lost, life enjoyment, general rants, website’s issues, feeling exhausted, depression, worthlessness, mind, love, life, people, death, religious and political views, and a bunch of other stuff… and that’s only counting the last 56 posts which I made in less than 2 months.

Sometimes it baffled me how differently opinionated people are. That’s not to say that that’s something bad, because we are all separate organisms, with different views… but at the same time, you are gonna try to impose your very specific belief upon the world when it could definitely be the case that this reality is everything everywhere all at once? We shouldn’t be fighting over these things… sometimes I feel like the world just needs new ideas to form or materialize, but we do it in such a startling manner… like there’s certain eras of life or humanity where something that was considered acceptable, it’s not anymore… and that’s why we had slavery. Did we really need slavery to happen just to make “slavery” or the description and meaning of the word slavery, which is owning servants, a new word to add to the dictionary?

Other times I feel like we need a revolution or something. Humanity is dying, and we are in a lot of cases in dire need of change. New borns or youngsters at least I like to think carry the will of generations and generations tracing back to the history of evolution; they are not only that, but I sense that each generation has it in them to be rather peculiar or strange in which no generation would be the same as the other, or you would never be bored by which they have new to bring to the table.

Tomorrow will bring solace. And you know what I think? When our sun dies, I don’t think it’ll be quite like a lot of people predict it. I believe it would be rather gradual, and harmonious, rather than chaotic and momentary… and therefore, we shouldn’t be all that scared. Probably the graduality of the cosmos itself and everything would make everything fall in place and make sense eventually… and premature worries only cause distress for no good reason. We just gotta trust nature more.

I wished people trusted my symphony more. I’m not perfect but I exist… we all do. No one is perfect, but no one is fully imperfect either. I know people have achieved far more than me, but I shouldn’t get myself feel or be lessen by them… because I am the best at being what I am or myself, and some people would probably envy that; but nobody should envy others for what others are… in fact, we should be happy or feel comfortable about what we are, regardless of size. We should feel sure about what we are, no matter how tall or short.

One thing that I notice often is our nature to appeal being more mean than nice. You see a lot of that here online. It has gotta be some survival factor or something. Personally, when someone invades my space, like dogs often feel, I feel nervous and there’s a feeling of anger or rather rejection towards that person, but I feel like it happens spontaneously without me thinking or being able to control it and my instincts.

Some people are really good at handling social interactions. I was never that kind of person. With friends I always felt pushed around and like we just sat there doing nothing. On the other hand, people like my mom have a natural instinct to talk with people. Not everyone is made for that. A lot of people fear rejection, like me… and are simply awful at handling the most minuscule aspects of socializing, by being awkward or silent.

My idea of a good person is that which accepts all the facts of life and doesn’t necessarily rejects them. Too many people these days just choose their faction. If it were for me, I would throw all the unnecessary foundations of humanity out the window. Things like money, a bunch of terms that I just can’t feel familiarized with… like communism, liberalism, etc. and I’d modernize most aspects of life, like work, schools, etc.

I do love life. It is a beautiful thing. Even if the nature of some things are questionable, or ugly to the face of truth, I still think life is worth living because it is always worth trying… in fact, if nothing mattered, by would there be anything? Why would there be anything at all? It is very important for the sake of finding your meaning or purpose to realize that you exist, as well as everything else.