Him

I miss you I really do

Although it didn't last long

And the passion wasn't mutual

I miss you I really do

Trying to blame you

Trying to forget you

Trying to ignore you

Was it worth it?

Did it really work?

It just made it more exhausting

And it killed me

A part of me died that day

Why would I say that?

How could I tell you not to speak to me?

Was it worth it?

All that rage?

All those obscure emotions?

I couldn't control them

I do regret it now

I really do

Was it for the best?

I guess it was

It had to be... right?

Or else, why would I have done it?

I tried to hate you,

To make the pain stop.

I tried to pretend nothing ever happened.

Those secrets, laughs and memories,

But it wasn't real.

It wasn't true love.

How could it be?

Love doesn't hurt right?

But if love doesn't hurt,

Why does it hurt?

Why do I still think about you?

Every minute,

Every class,

Every day,

Looking for you in the hallways

It wasn't true love, it can't be.

I was in love once, my first love

Or at least I thought it was

But this, it is to a much greater extend.

I forgave you,

I blamed myself.

After all, it was my fault,

I ruined it once ,

Then twice ,

And after everything was fine again.

Until..

You acted differently,

Something had changed.

The reason?

Still unknown.

That was my fifth time leaving

But how could I really leave?

Why does it hurt?

It kills me

Consumes me from the inside

This pain

Make it stop

Please...

Just make it stop

I pick my pen up,

Just to let the ink flow on the paper

I signed it off

I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks

Why does it hurt?

I put your name on the paper

It won't hurt now.

I love you

You deserved better.