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My dad married my stepmom when I was six. A week after she moved in, I watched her beat the crap out of my older sister, she was 10. From that moment on, I have been scared of her. I lived my entire childhood in fear and abuse, and so did my two older sister and younger brother. My stepmother had her own son and daughter, and the abuse either stemmed around making them feel more important than my siblings and I or controlling my father.
It took me years to see it, but I grew up this way. I thought it was normal for many years until I spilled my guts to a friend because she asked why I was crying in the bathroom. I told her, and we went to the counselor.
There were several trips to the counselor after that by me and my siblings. When my two older siblings tried to report it to social services, the service people told my stepmom, we were making it up. We just wanted our real mom and were taking it out on her. The fact was: she was extremely, physically and emotionally abusive.
Most people in my life have been like the social workers - telling me I'm over-exaggerating and telling my stepmom they're sorry she has to put up with such mean children.
As an adults, my sisters decided to shun her and in-turn, my father as long as he is married to her. My brother pretends, even though he spends hours after every visit talking about how much he hates her. I decided I wanted my father in my life, and I would "fake it" too. Now, over something trivial, at nearly 30 years of age, I let out all my feelings and even spelled out several situations where she abused us.
She flat out denied all of them, and will not let my father speak to me.
I'm not sure what to do? I love my father. My son loves my father. But god, I hate that miserable woman and her manipulation and lies.
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Just be true to yourself. Don't allow her or others to gaslight you. You know your own experience. Just be honest with your dad as much as you can, and (hopefully I don't need to spell this out) NEVER let your son be alone with her.
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