What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
About a year ago my parrents broke up, it was because my father found out my mother has a boyfriend. They still live together now because they have to sell the house to be able to buy seperate houses. I was already dealing with mild depression then. My depression got worse and by it came self harm, Suicidal and social anxiety. One morning before school i decided that i was going to end it all. I hung up a rope, rode a note but when i was standing on the stool and kicke it away, the robe was to long and so my toes touched the ground, i bound the robe up higher and tried again, it was still pretty long and i was able to step on the stairs, i couldn't hang myself. I still wanted out but that didn't work for me. I called my dad (they didn't know anything "Because i seemed so happy") and i was saying "I couldn't do it" over and over again and i send him 2 pictures of the robe and the note. He sayd to please not to do anything and that he was coming home from work. Once home we talked about it for hours, but the thing is that i can't talk about it well and found it embarrassing and i don't like attention. So i ignored my parrents a lot and when they wanted to talk about it i changed the toppic or walked away. My mother said she thing i did it for attention, and i think my father thinks that 2 now. I got into a fight with my mom a while later and she yelled at me that she wished i had just died. They think everything is over now, Do i realy act that wel? Every Sunday and sometimes other days as wel my mother goes to her boyfriend. I HATE it when she talks about him, and it's like she doesn't even care or know that i hate that. I cut a lot because of her every comment is worth a few more cuts. And often i don't know witch parrent tells the truth anymore. My father often talks bad about my mother and then my mother tells something a bit different and i just don't know who to trust. I went a few niveaus down even though i know i am or was pretty smart. I want to get a good job but i prevent me from doing anything for school at all. I don't know ig i will even make it to my twenties. But a reason for me to keep living is that i want to have a family later and raise my kids so that they don't have to recover from their childhood. The only thing i ever wanted was a happy life and love. And i now i deserve it, after years of battling i Deserve to be happy. I know i'm a good person. I have a lot of trust issues and most of all, a lot of Hatred.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
internalized
it exists in the center of my mind. i'm still able to focus, function, and be a member of society. however, on occasion it will stop all of that. it will...
-
My heart is in a million pieces
Im in theatre, and I play the female lead in the show were doing right now. The guy who plays the other lead/love interest is a senior. I'm a freshman. But God...
Hey i sorry you ever felt those things and heard those Comments I am no genie but i hope you have a good life and get married and have kids.
ReplyEverything will get better. The only thing you need is yourself. And good luck for the future you will have an amazing life. Don't hurt yourself anymore. We're all here for you support.
Reply