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So I’m 14 and like to spend time in my room, alone. I always had a little trouble to speak face to face with people and was bullied at school. Growing up, my voice was a little childish, and my parents would always try to change that (to the point that they made me cry on my birthday). It stopped for a while, I had friends, my parents would leave me alone, but then the bullying began again. I like to keep things to myself, so I didn’t tell them. Then, I started spending more time alone (talking to some friends, crying, doing nothing,reading or writing books). The problem is that, because I wasn’t with them 24/7, they started calling me names like “ungrateful” or “piece of sh&t”. That didn’t exactly made me want to spend more time with them, and it made men trust them even less than before. I cry almost everyday. The problem with my parents is that they sometimes act really nicely and suddenly they are angry and screaming. They don’t trust in me anymore (ie: when I broke a leg they refused to take me to a doctor because they thought I was faking it). The real problem Osborne that idk if this is considered abuse or not, I think it’s my fault. I also want to talk to a professional but what kind of person would pay for their teenage daughter to say that she thinks they are abusing her. I’m also too scare to talk to the school psychologist because she may tell my parents. I really need help and idk what to do anymore, I had self harmed and suicide is still the best option and I’m too scared to continue. Please, I need advice.
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That's not your fault at all. It will never be. Sometimes people who are supposed to protect us, harm us so freaking much. They fail to protect us, but that's not our fault. It will never be. I am so sorry that you have to go through this hell. It sounds extremely painful that your parents did so harmful things even for the way your voice is. That's beyond unacceptable and unfair. You deserve to be treated in a kind and protective way. You don't deserve abuse. And you didn't cause it, it's not your fault. It sounds like serious emotional abuse and neglect. And I am so proud of you that you are here and that you are trying to reach out and speak up for what's going on. I know that talking about such painful things isn't easy at all. It takes courage. So much courage. There are good and bad times. There are both, but the fact that someone is nice sometimes doesn't erase the fact that they were so mean and that they hurt and harmed us. It doesn't change the way they made us hurt, they made us bleed and cry. You are important and you matter. You deserve to get out of this cycle of abuse and you can. I believe in you. I understand that you feel scared to tell someone at school about what's going on at home and that you worry about what will happen if your parents learn about that. Is there an adult (maybe teacher, or maybe a councelor) you trust to let them know? There is protection. There is privacy. There are ways to speak up and be safe. You deserve a real place to call home, not a place of abuse. Please, talk to an adult you trust, or maybe a helpline, you deserve to be safe and happy. There are many organisations out there that will believe you and help you right away without risking your safety. You aren't alone.
ReplyAlso, I want to add something to the post: my parents are good people and I’m sure of that, and they are nice most of the time, but you never know when they will stop acting nicely and start yelling at you. They take my sister and I on trips and they buy as nice things and I have never seen them treat my sis badly. So I guess I’m being ungrateful and they just want to change that. But I like to avoid them because when they get angry they are really scary..
Reply(I am the same person as before) That is a characteristic of emotional abuse, you don't know when someone will be abusive again and that makes it an even more scaring experience. You don't know what to expect and when the next emotional attack will appear. I don't think that you are ungrateful or that it's your fault. They have treated you badly, they didn't get you to the hospital when you had a broken leg and were in pain, they accused you of faking it, that is so unfair. There is nothing to cover this up. No matter what they are your parents and they are supposed to protect you, not cause you harm. You deserve to be believed and healthy. There is a reason that makes you scared. You have been through mean, harmful behaviour from them. Emotional abuse-or any kind of abuse-can't be justified. Of course it's not all bad, there are also good times and that can make us feel a big amount of guilt, because we feel ungrateful and that it's all our fault. But no, nobody deserves to be abused in any way. If a friend was in your place, what would you suggest them to do? Sometimes when we distance our self from some situations we can see it more clearly. We usually tend to be very harsh on our self.
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